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Panic Attack

How does one calmly gasp for air? I feel like I can’t breathe and try to force air into my malfunctioning lungs in an orderly fashion. Be calm. Be still. Breathe. But it’s like the air comes in through...

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When You Read My Excuse, You’ll Understand

I try to avoid lengthy titles, but I knew with my long absence it would be pretty hard to draw anyone back into this blog that I’ve left to wither up and die. My life has been insane in the last year,...

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Running From My Bed

Most people chase sleep, but sleep has been chasing me. I’m running from the tomorrows I don’t want to face, from the tomorrows I don’t have a place. Mind, body, and soul weary but I can’t let it claim...

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Desperate Times…Call for Reblogs

As you guys know, I’m now facing my second tumor in less than a year, surgery looming in the very near future, meanwhile I’m still trying to pay off my last surgery and am woefully short. Yesterday I...

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Just Let Me

This isn’t going to be uplifting, this isn’t going to fix your day, this isn’t going to do much of anything for you except maybe make you think or piss you off. I honestly don’t care. I don’t have...

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Big Girls Cry

I’m so overwhelmed with emotion this week and anxiety as my surgery draws closer, and today was especially awful. But like some kind of magical fairy godmother, Sia released a new video just to make my...

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Life Changes

Probably no one even reads this blog anymore, and the majority who do aren’t looking to hear about my life, but for those who do, I survived surgery and a long recovery period. The tumor is gone from...

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The Wreck

Some days I feel so broken, like no amount of glue could make my jagged pieces fit. Like shatterproof glass whose cracks keep multiplying until the fragments are so minuscule they could be carried away...

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Typing til I feel Better

I don’t really know what I’m doing here. I’m exhausted. I hear his snores in the next room and I want to go to him so strongly my chest tightens. I know exactly where his arms will go when I lay next...

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Invisible

you don’t see me. I blend into every bland paper scenery that’s ever been painted and I watch the world. I watch the world like the outsider I am trying so hard to fit in it but all I match is the...

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